Denise Brouillette

I was on a conference call the other day with eight others. Tony was leading the discussion and was outlining elements of a corporate proposal that if accepted, would result in national coaching engagements for those of us who chose to be involved.

He began by citing the three items we'd be covering on the call. "Good start" I thought. Right after that, things went down hill. He jumped from one topic to the next without finishing most sentences, and gave the impression that he was formulating his thoughts as he spoke. This behavior left the rest of us on the call unclear about what he wanted from us. During the Q&A period we had to work hard to stop him from expounding on every answer. It was frustrating. In the typological speak of psychologist Carl Jung, Tony was demonstrating some of the classic extroverted behaviors.

Extroverts are approachable, friendly, outgoing people who draw energy for life by engaging with the outer world of people, places and things. They're incomparable networkers who form alliances and make connections just about everywhere they go. They enjoy group events, prefer talking to listening, favor multi-tasking, and like bouncing their ideas off of people to gain validation and to figure out what their next actions are going to be. Extroverts are exceptionally good at responding to tough questions on the spot, whether or not they have a complete answer.

They're also known for taking over conversations, thinking out loud even when no one is listening, presenting ideas that may not be fully baked, voicing their unedited opinions, and acting before thinking through the potential consequences. They've been known to drop in on people or call them without warning whenever they feel the need to talk something through. And because extroverts are action oriented, they may appear impatient.

I'm fairly extroverted so I have to keep on my toes  to make sure that I listen more than I talk.  If any of these behaviors above sound like you and if they're getting you into difficulty, here are 3 things you can do right away.

1. When someone presents a problem, don't immediately come back with your solution. Instead, ask one or two questions -- and wait for the answers -- before you plunge into action. Only interrupt to get some clarification or if they're wandering off track.
2. Use others as a sounding board to get your ideas lined up before you put them before a decision maker. Using the important influence discussion to brainstorm ideas makes you look unprepared.
3. I've said this before but it deserves a repeat performance here, answer only the questions asked, and limit your comments to 10 seconds -- 15 seconds max. Why so short? You can dilute your own good argument with extra words. People have short attention spans, especially if they want to get a word in themselves. So the longer you talk, the less people listen.

According to Otto Kroeger in his book Type Talk at Work (with Janet Thuesen and Hile Rutledge, Dell Publishing, 2002, p. 28), 75% of the U.S. population  are extroverted.  Not so good for introverts at work. Before too long I'll post some suggestions for how introverts can hold their own in conversations with the extroverted crowd.