Denise Brouillette

No one is ever very far away from making a colossal career mistake when it comes to managing up. Your manager is mostly likely the first person who comes to mind. But he or she isn't the only one you need to be aware of and cautious about. It's anyone who has power, anyone who has political favor, anyone who could make or break your career. And, well, that's a lot of people. Which is why everyone needs to be aware of who those important people are and what not to say or do that would cause you to fall out of favor with them.

There are so many "what not to say" and "what not to do" rules. In the August article, Are You Gambling With Your Career, I wrote of three political rules with your boss that should always be top of mind. With the two additional rules in this article, there are five actions that you should never engage in with those above you. They include not only your immediate boss, but anyone in power who is also in favor and anyone who has a say over whether or not you rise up, get a raise, lead a prize initiative, or whatever else is important to you and your career.

Of the 5 rules, the first three are in the August article: 1) Never make your boss look bad in public. 2) Never talk trash about your manager to others, anytime, ever. 3) Never do anything to make your boss look or feel stupid or inadequate whether you're in front of others or alone. The final two are 4) Never forget who's in charge. 5) When goaded, never allow yourself to get pushed into losing emotional control.

Never Forget Who's in Charge. It's one thing to take initiative and get what needs to get done handled, even before your manager thinks of it. But it's quite another to think ahead, make a decision, take care of it, let everyone know you did it, and have your manager be the last to know. Worse yet, have your manager hear it from someone else and not you.

Example. The head of a small consulting firm recently told me of an incident where someone who worked for him was interviewed for a story about the company. The call about the interview came through when the boss wasn't there. The employee took the call and decided not to tell the boss, who, by the way, was the company head, and instead, opted to be interviewed himself.

It was only after the story was in print that the employee told the boss about the interview. Of course, the boss was furious. Why? For one, the article was written as though the employee were speaking for the boss, with the boss' full permission, and of course, that wasn't the case. Second, some of the information in the article about the company was incorrect. And finally, and this was the icing on the cake, some proprietary information about where the company was headed was given to the reporter who, of course, put it in the article. Needless to say, that employee no longer had a future and was gone within months.

This might have been a case of just not thinking clearly at the time about what was the best thing to do and just going ahead. But not telling the boss until the story was in print was just plain foolish. You can forgive the act itself. People do make errors in judgment. But to have made a second error (not telling you), that is cause for distrust. And that's what you never want to have happen -- have your boss or any one above her/him distrust you. That's the kiss of death. When doubt, keep them in the loop, always.

Never Let Yourself Be Goaded into Losing Emotional Control. This is a tough one because there will always be people above you who will be critical of your work. It just happens. That's work life. But if you've got a boss, or anyone above you for that matter, who goads you into losing emotional control, you've lost your power. Some people thrive on seeing others lose it, weird as it may sound. While others don't think one way or another about it, and engage you in a back and forth that hits hot buttons you never knew you had.

The best thing you can do for this is to:

• Be prepared, mentally, for anything -- for any type of behavior.
• And to know your hot buttons very very well so that when it happens that you're being goaded, you don't get hooked.
• And to keep yourself from getting hooked in the moment, always move the conversation away from the attack on you, to a solution to the problem at hand. That way you neutralize whatever it is they're trying to do. And if you do it without over-reacting, you're golden.