Denise Brouillette

Have you ever made a political gaffe with your boss that you wish you hadn't - a career-limiting move that impacted your future in that job, in that role, or in that company? Who hasn't?

Here are three simple rules that can keep you out of harm's way.

Never make your manager look bad in public. Unfortunately, this is something people do often without realizing it. Let's say you're in a department-wide meeting and your manager is presenting. You might know more than your manager and be at least, if not more, well-connected with people in the meeting than your manager is (which makes you feel like you can say anything) …but never underestimate the consequences of looking better or smarter than your manager in front of anyone.

While you may think that showing your knowledge and skill is a good way to get yourself some political capital with the right people and thus get yourself promoted -- it can be. But if you do it at your manager's expense, with a slick demonstration of how much better you are than he or she, you run the high risk of being seen by those in power as undermining -- as someone who can't be trusted. And that's the kiss of death. And if what you're doing causes your manager to look less than stellar in front of your co-workers, they'll probably think that they're fair game as well, that they're next. And if that's the case, you could be sabotaged by them.

Don't talk about your manager to others. In other words, don't make disparaging comments about your manager's decision-making, strategic ability, follow-through, management style, etc. to anyone in your organization, even when they're your friends (a friend today, doesn't necessarily mean a friend tomorrow). You'd be surprised what some people will do with your comments when what you're saying is even remotely negative.

People rarely pass on the good stuff -- like, "Hey, Jen said that you're smart and great to work for." Comments like that aren't juicy enough. But people sure do tune into the critical comments -- the stuff of gossip. So much so that something said in passing, like "Ella hasn't figured out how to get the best out of us yet. I could tell her a few things about the best way to work with us" gets tossed around in the gossip mill, and comes back as "The other day Jason overhead Jen say that Ella isn't smart enough to be her boss and that Jen thinks Ella's boss should get rid of her and then promote Jen into Ella's job. Can you believe that????" Woopsie, that comment went from mild to extreme in no time. They all do. And when those blown-up messages get back to the person in question, that usually has a bad result.

So if you've got something bad to say about your boss, don't broadcast it to anyone inside the organization. Remain neutral. Keep out of the gossip and save your complaining for your friends who don't work with you.

Don't argue with your manager... about decisions s/he is making that you don't agree with, just because you think you're right and they're wrong. That can be political suicide. This links to Rule 1, "Never make your boss look bad."  Rule 1 is the public version. Rule 3 is the private version, when it's just the two of you discussing your manager's next big idea.

Now you might be thinking that if your boss has a bad idea, you need to point that out so that he or she won't go out there and look like an idiot. But is that really why you're bringing up the flaws or the holes in the idea? It could be because you want to look like you know something. Great. But you might end up looking like you're trying to outdo your manager and at their expense.

Most people, unless specifically asked, don't generally want your opinion, or anyone else's for that matter, that points out the flaws in their thinking -- in other words, that causes them to feel stupid or inadequate. They'll string you up for that. Now I'm not saying that you can't have healthy disagreement or healthy debate. If you've got a manager who encourages that kind of discussion, great.

It only becomes a problem when your manager doesn't ask for your opinion, but you give it to him / her anyway. And in so doing it can come across as you've got a better way of doing it. And if you say words like, "I've got a better idea," or "a better way…" how that gets interpreted is "Your idea sucks, let's toss that one out and use mine." Because the word "better" is comparative -- which means for something to be better, the other thing has to be not so great or just plain bad.

It might work just fine to challenge your manager's thinking a couple of times, but if you're someone who often disagrees with your manager and voices that disagreement, you need to tread carefully.

Consider this. If what you're saying calls into question your manager's good judgment or points out that s/he hasn't thought through things clearly, you'll quickly lose the "trusted sounding board" status, if you've got it. In fact, you might be cut out altogether. Very few people like to think that the person working for them is smarter. And no one likes to be made to feel stupid by someone who reports to them.

Here's what you can do, you can say something like, "I've got a couple of thoughts about this, and am wondering what YOU think…" "If we were to do X instead of Y, that might add to the outcome." (notice I didn't say "give us a better outcome" ).

You can also point out the pros and cons from your perspective only, and leave the final decision making to your manager. You can say something like, "I can see that this might get us this outcome (the pros) and it might also get us this outcome (the cons). What do you think?" That way, you've left the decision to your manager, thereby leaving their ego intact. And if you're working for someone who all too often makes questionable decisions, you may need to begin to separate yourself from them and their decisions. That's a topic for a future article.